Baby boy, you have such a sweet, sweet soul. You woke up shortly after I put you down tonight and I picked you up and sat down in the rocking chair, hoping that you’d go back to sleep quickly so I could watch TV with your Daddy and relax for a little while. I was being impatient, I was frustrated with you for not sleeping, not enjoying the moment. You reached your tiny baby hand up, placed it on my cheek, and rubbed my face with your thumb. I don’t know what provoked it, but it was such a sweet gesture…almost an apology of sorts for waking up so often and definitely a reminder of your love for me.

I’m sorry for not being patient enough with you at times, but thank you, sweet boy, for reminding me of one of the most wonderful things on this Earth…your love.

Nine whole months (and a few days) have gone by with you on the outside. You’ve spent longer on the outside now than on the inside. You’ve been a part of our lives for over a year and a half. It’s truly amazing how much life can change in 18 short months…how your Daddy and I can go from a young married couple who had no clue about raising a baby to veteran parents who can change diapers, soothe cries, and tickle like pros. It’s amazing how much you’ve changed in 18 months, sweet boy. How you went from a cluster of cells to YOU. I am blown away by our Creator – he is magnificent and awe-inspiring. That He chose you, formed you, and allowed us to raise you is just amazing to me. I’m so lucky to be your Mom, Will. So, so, so lucky!

You are quite the little boy. You’re up and down and all around the house these days. You crawl anywhere and everywhere, stopping to examine things that I’d never take the time to notice. You give special attention to the leaf that has blown in the front door, the crumb on the edge of your high chair tray, the strand of hair that’s escaped from my ponytail, and the pine needle that’s fallen off our Christmas tree. You love to inspect the (covered and safe!) outlets and my running shoes that have failed to make their way to my closet. You’re really starting to learn how to interact with your environment, whether it’s a loud grunt/yell to get my attention (a new favorite of yours) or “playing” with Riley and taking her ball out of her mouth. Gran and CP got you a walker for Christmas and you love it. You will push it everywhere and you will not let go of the handle until you’re good and ready! Last night, Daddy and I watched you learn how to push it to the toys you wanted to play with. You’d push it over to your toy, sit down and play for awhile, then stand back up and push it to the next toy. Watching you make these little discoveries is fascinating!

You’re a total ham and one of the happiest babies I’ve met. And I’m not just saying that because I’m your Mommy! It doesn’t take much to get a smile out of you. Some of your favorite things are Riley jumping in the air for her ball, me or Daddy imitating your grunts/squeals/yells, smushing your face up against the shower door while I’m in the shower, getting your fingers “bitten” by me or Daddy, and walking around naked before your bath. Your favorite toys are your lion walker, your Fisher Price musical table, your Tonka toy trucks, and your Melissa and Dough puzzles (all of which were Christmas presents). Your first Christmas was so much fun! We didn’t do anything incredibly special – we stayed home in the morning and opened presents as a new family of 3 and then went to see Gran, CP, and Uncle Matt. But it was so nice to spend time with you, to watch you discover bows and wrapping paper and Christmas trees and gifts. You weren’t all that into the actual opening of the presents – you enjoyed playing with the toys wrapped in the paper! Once we got you started playing with a toy it was pretty hard to tear you away to open another. Always so focused

You weigh 19 pounds 10 ounces (25th percentile) and are 28 1/2 inches tall (50th percentile). You’re wearing size 3 diapers, 6-12 month clothing, and 12-18 month footed sleepers. You’re still not anywhere close to sleeping through the night – you usually wake around 11pm when Daddy rocks you back to sleep and anywhere from 1am – 5am when you come into bed with us. Many, many, many people have told me that you should be sleeping through the night and that we should just let you cry…but that’s not for us. I don’t mind the snuggle time in bed all that much either You’re taking 2 solid naps a day with one catnap in the late afternoon or early evening. As pathetic as your nighttime sleeping is, you actually nap pretty well! You love your “doggie” from Gran. I didn’t realize how attached to it you were until you cried and cried one nap time when I tried to rock you to sleep without it (it was in the washing machine). You’re still a paci fanatic, though you’ve learned how to take it out if you just want to cry! You’re now completely off of purees and only eating table food. Some of your favorites are yogurt, kiwi, bananas, sweet potato bites, peas, scrambled eggs with cheese, fish, blueberries, raspberries, nectarines, and mangoes. You do not like refried beans and if I try to give them to you spread on a tortilla, you will promptly throw them off your tray to the dogs. I’m not sure where you learned that nasty little trick, but Mommy does NOT like it! You’re very big on feeding yourself and aren’t too keen to have Mommy or Daddy feed you anymore. We still feed you messy things, like yogurt, or foods that are hard to pick up, like bananas and kiwi, but for the most part, you feed yourself. You adore your bathtime and you frequently will lounge on the side of your duck tub with your feet propped on the sides. You’ve also become quite the Momma’s boy, which I don’t mind a bit. I figure that when you’re 17, you’re not going to want to cuddle with your Mommy anymore, so there’s no harm in cuddling you and hugging you as much as I want.

I really wish there was a way for me to capture all those little every day things with you, sweet baby boy. You make my heart swell with love and there is so much joy in our house. It is so wonderful to watch you learn…to watch you make connections, to pick up on things we do (like waving), or to learn things all on your own. You started dancing a few weeks ago and it is absolutely adorable. You sway your head back and forth (a little bit reminiscent of A Night at the Roxbury) and grin. In the past few days, you’ve even added a little bit of a hip wiggle to your dance! It’s the little things like that which make living with you such a blessing. I am so, so thankful to be your Mommy and I’m so proud of you!

Love,
Mommy

You’re eight months old, sweet baby boy. I can’t believe it! You’re a completely different little person than you were eight months ago, that’s for sure. You’ve got so much personality and you can do so many things independently. You amaze me every day with the connections you make and the situations you get yourself into! You’re quite the dare devil, I must say…your Daddy has nicknamed you Kamikaze because you’ll crawl right off the edge of the bed or the couch if we’re not paying close enough attention…silly boy! I sure do hope that your dare devilish stunts slow down in the coming years…or else I may not make it to 50

You celebrated your first Thanksgiving last week, though you slept through the actual dinner portion of it. You were quite impressed with your first taste of mashed potatoes. Your Uncle Matt was proud, though I think you’re going to have to eat a LOT more ‘taters to beat his record! All in all it was such a fun day…I’m so thankful for you in my life, sweet boy. Words can’t even begin to express how much I love you. I thank God each day for blessing us and letting us be your parents…you’re so special to us!

You are all over the place now. You can crawl (and you do so fast!), you can and do pull up on anything that’s in sight. You just started cruising on the couch and can walk the length of it. You can stand for a very short time without support, but letting go still scares you a tiny bit! You got your first tooth on your eight month birthday, the bottom front tooth on your left! It’s still not completely through the surface yet, but I can feel the sharp little edges of it in there…no more chewing on Mommy’s hands as a substitute for a teething ring. Sorry! You’re wearing size 3 diapers and are in 6-9 month clothes and are about to outgrow 12 month sleepers…you’re taking after your daddy in the length department! When we went in to get your 7-month shots you weighed in at 19 pounds 10 ounces…you’re getting so big!

You are into everything. Our shoes, the dog toys, the dog’s water bowl, the electrical outlets, the laptop cord, the tiny speck of grass that got tracked into the house…yep, just about everything! You babble loudly all.day.long. Your chosen words include (but are not limited to) da-da, ma-ma, de-de, na-na, ga-ga, no-no, and puh-puh. You just learned how to blow from watching me blow on my oatmeal in the morning when we eat breakfast. It’s pretty adorable – you purse your lips together and blow down. Your favorite song is the ABCs and it gets sung a lot. If we’re in the car and you start fussing all I have to do is start the ABC song and you’re silent by the time we get to D. No other song will do – I’ve tried Jesus Loves Me, The Ants Go Marching, and a few others…but you’re stuck on the ABCs. You love listening to music, especially at church where it’s going on right in front of you. You’re absolutely fascinated by the different sounds. Your sleep habits are getting marginally better, though I’m not entirely convinced that you’ll ever learn how to sleep through the night Ever since you started crawling, though, you’ve been napping like a champ! It makes your Mommy’s day much nicer since I’m actually able to get a load of laundry and some dishes done while you sleep…thanks little man!

I’m pretty sure I could fill a book with all the things you do now. And that book would constantly be out of date because each and every day you do something new. But I’ll stop here…The past eight months have been the most gratifying, special, wonderful days of my life. Even the sleepless nights with you trump the full nights of sleep I used to get before you arrived. Thank you for being the best gift I’ve ever received. I love you!!

Love,
Mommy

Today you are seven months old. Seven months. Seven. I’m a tiny bit sad tonight as I write this…you’re tucked in your crib, dreaming sweet dreams. You’re so big, baby. You’re growing up so fast. You need me less and less each day…you’re becoming more independent and I know that in the blink of an eye you’ll be grown up and you really won’t need your Mommy anymore…So tonight, I’m just a little bit sad that you’re growing up.

I love you more than words can express. When you army crawl across the bathroom while I’m in the shower and knock the dog’s water bowl over, I love you. When you throw a little temper tantrum when you don’t get your way, I love you. When you’re up all night, I love you. You stole my heart the moment you came into this world and things haven’t been the same since. I cherish the days with you, sweetheart. I don’t think I’ve told you how lucky I feel that I am able to stay at home with you during these precious days. I get to hear you giggle at the dogs chasing after their toys, I get to watch you discover the world around you, I get to shower you in kisses and love you with abandon every second of the day. I’m so thankful for your Daddy, Will. He knows how much this time with you means to me, and he would give up anything to make me happy, even if that means we have to live with a little less since I’m not teaching. He has so much to teach you…things about life, and love, and being a man of God. You are lucky to have him as a Daddy; you’re so lucky you get to learn from him. He may not be a man of many words, but watch his actions and you’ll go far.

As I watch you grow, one thing I admire about you is how determined you are. You’ve been this way since day one, but it’s really starting to shine through as you grow. When you were not even a day old, you started trying to hold your head up on your own. I have no idea why you were so determined to do it, but you were and you did. No obstacles can stop you from doing what you want…you passionately pursue the things your heart desires, be it toys across the room or my laptop that you want to bang on. I hope you never lose this trait, Will. I hope you chase hard after your dreams and never let someone tell you that your dreams are unattainable. Because they’re not baby boy, they’re not. And I pray I can teach you to have a heart of the Lord. Because if you have a heart of the Lord, then your dreams are His dreams. And with your determination and His dreams, you can do so much for His Kingdom!

Seven months seems so long in theory, but so short in actuality. I’ve gotten to soak up seven months of memories with you. Memories like you laughing hysterically at the dogs in your bath tonight. You giving me hugs when you get up from your naps. You banging your tiny little palms against the wood floor, the table, your highchair tray, my arms. You taking your paci out of your mouth just so you can cry. You laying your sweet head against my chest as I rock you to sleep. You experiencing the feel of paint squishing through your fingers. You sitting in the grass for the first time and relishing in the scratchy, coolness of it. I could go on and on about the memories I have of you!

These days you’re into everything! You’re fast…I never realized how fast a non-crawling little person could move. You catch me off guard all the time and melt my heart with your toothless little smile. You army crawl everywhere and are practicing getting up on your hands and knees. You pull up on everything (including your crib and the bathtub). You love your pacifier. You’re wearing size 3 diapers and wearing 6-9 month clothing. Your pants are way too big around the waist and just barely long enough – I foresee that being an issue all your life! You’ve started giving hugs when I get you out of your crib (and they totally make my heart melt). You’ve started on some finger foods and are loving them!

I could write about you forever, but I’ll stop here for tonight. I love you, Will. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Will,

I can’t even believe that I’ve spent half a year with you. In the weird way that time works, it seems like longer and shorter all in the same second. You’ve gone from this tiny, helpless bundle into a babbling, rolling, sitting-up little baby. You have likes and dislikes, you have the sweetest personality. You’re so precious to me!

In half a year, we’ve gone from:

this                                                                                                  to this.

Oh, where does the time go? I’m so lucky to be your Mommy, sweet boy. I hope you know just how much I enjoy it. I love your that you’ve started giving me wet, open mouth kisses. I absolutely adore them, even the slimed face I get afterward! I love your fake coughs, the way you say “Ahhooo!” if you can’t get a sneeze out, and how completely excited you get about tearing up napkins. You’re so passionate about all the little things our day holds and you put your entire heart into doing activities. You splash your heart out during bathtime until your eyelashes are dripping with water and then you look up at me and grin. You reach with all your might to grab things off the table during dinner and you are a very enthusiastic eater. You know our daily routine well, but if we stray from it, it’s no big deal. You’re so easy going and happy-go-lucky and I love that about you. I hope that never changes.

You’re still wearing 3-6 month clothes, but I’m mixing in more and more of your 6-9 month clothes every day. You graduated to size 2-3 diapers and are somewhere around 18 pounds and 28-29 inches long. So far you’ve had rice cereal (okay), oatmeal (good), bananas (great), avocado (okay), pears (fantastic), sweet potatoes (good), butternut squash (okay), peaches (fantastic), plums (fantastic), apples (great), green beans (okay), nectarines (fantastic), and puffs (okay). If I’m having an apple for a snack, you love to gum a slice of apple to death while I eat mine. You make “mmm mmm mmm” noises while you’re chomping and it’s just so dang cute! You sleep in your crib for a 5-8 hour stretch and then come snuggle in bed between Mommy and Daddy. I’m sure you’d go back to sleep in your crib if I rocked you, but I love having you snuggle up close to me for part of the night. You’re an expert at sitting up and rarely topple over anymore, you roll both directions (though you roll back to belly much easier than belly to back) and you’re fascinated with patterns on fabric. You enjoy the Exersaucer and Jumperoo, but you’re also content to sit on my lap while I eat breakfast and watch Ellen. It’s still hard to get laughs and giggles out of you, but man, when I do, I could listen all day! You have the cutest chuckle and I love your gummy grin!

The toes on your left foot curl over each other (as evidenced by the above photo), and it makes me laugh! You love your doggie (security blanket) and your brown/blue striped blankets. You’re addicted to your pacifier and have perfected the art of putting it into your mouth backward. You love hugs, you love it when your Daddy gives you kisses on your neck, you love to pet the dogs, you love taking jogs with Mommy, you love bathtime, and you love reading your Bible at night…you seriously just seem to love life. It is such a joy for your Daddy and I to see you delight in the little things that we take for granted every day. You are always in the moment and I envy you for that. I know that you’re like that because you are a baby, but it’s something that I hope you never lose. All too often we spend too much time looking foward to the future or remembering the past and we forget to soak up every ounce of goodness in the life we’re living NOW.

This time next year, you’ll be a running, walking, jumping, talking 18-month-old and I know I’m going to look back at this letter and a small piece of my heart is going to ache that my baby is growing up. But each day that you grow, my heart grows with love for you. Six months ago I didn’t even have a clue what it meant to be your Mommy. I remember staring down at you while you slept on my chest, your little breaths warm on my neck, and being overcome with this overwhelming love for you. It was a type of love that I never even knew existed in human form…I’d known you for barely a day and I was knocked over by these powerful emotions. All I wanted was more time with you so I could stare at you, watch you breathe, and pour my love over you. Not too much has changed six months later. I still stare at you and delight in the deliciousness of you. I still watch you breathe (and always check to make sure you’re still breathing before I go to bed). I still want to drench you in my love until you’re dripping with it; I hope you never doubt just how much I love you. And I still just want more time with you, even if that time comes at 3:00 in the morning. I am so, so proud of you Will. Your life is so meaningful. Your life has brought your Daddy and I closer. Your life has brought my family and I closer. Your life is going to change the world, I have no doubt about that.

I found this poem and it kind of sums everything up. I am thankful for these past six months and so excited about the future with you. I love you so much, Will.

MY DEAR CHILD.
You are the poem
I dreamed of writing
the masterpiece
I longed to paint.
You are the shining star
I reached for In my
ever hopeful quest
for life fulfilled..
You are my child.
Now with all things
I am blessed.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Will,

Eight years ago today, when you weren’t even a thought in my mind, something terrible happened in our world. We, as Americans, were attacked by terrorists. Life as I knew it then was to be changed forever. I remember exactly where I was that day, exactly what I was wearing, and exactly what I was doing. I was in 10th grade and absolutely nothing got finished in school for the rest of the day. All of my teachers had the TV turned onto the news and we watched over and over again as planes flew into the World Trade Center. I remember the first time I saw it on the news, it didn’t even cross my mind that someone would’ve done this to America purposely…I was sad that such a tragic accident had occurred. When I found out it wasn’t actually an accident and that terrorists from another country wanted to hurt our great nation, I was sad and scared.

I wish I could raise you in a world where people valued life. But sadly, even in America, that doesn’t happen. People brush off life and don’t look at it as a gift. They play God; they take lives away. And it breaks my heart. I want you to know what a precious, special thing life is, baby boy. I want you to value it, to cherish it, and to never, ever take one breath for granted. Right now, soldiers are a world away fighting for your right to live your life here in America. Fighting for your right to be free. Some day in the not too distant future, your Uncle might be over there fighting for you too. Please don’t forget this, Will. Don’t forget that men and women have given up their lives so you can have yours. When you think about that, please stop and take a moment to reflect. Take a moment to realize that even though we have the right to believe what we want in America, there are other countries where people do not.

I believe that God blessed your Daddy and I with your little life for a specific purpose. I believe that He has big plans for your little life. I believe that He wants to use you to change the world. Change it for the better; change it so others can realize the gift of life too. My prayer for you today is that you would listen to the gentle call of His voice and that you would go where He calls you. And maybe, just maybe, you can make such a difference in our world that eighty years from now there are no more wars and people don’t have to give their lives so others have a chance at freedom.

I love you Will and I am so thankful for the gift of you.

Love,
Mommy